Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize