YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
