yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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