Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
