i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
