so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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