If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
