wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
