what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
