happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
