so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
