Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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