I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
