You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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