evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
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So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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