i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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