Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
