Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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