Where did you get a picture of my penis
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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