at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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