I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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