My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
