There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
