Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
