brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
