Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
