So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
