you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize