Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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