So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You pole danced in your parka.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
