Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
