Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
