Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
