when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
