if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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