I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize