i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
