yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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