Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
