i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
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I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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