someone owes me an orgasm
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
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So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
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I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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