Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
