brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
