I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Can I color on your dick again?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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