I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Life is so much better after having sex.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
