if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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