So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
