She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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