Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
