I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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