i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
