To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
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I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She's the barista slut.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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