I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
