drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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