isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
