I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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