This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
