How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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