So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
