Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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