goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
