evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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