Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
